Start A Mass
Dating Campaign
By Rinatta Paries
We all know singles who are burned out on dating. Perhaps you are one of
them. Perhaps you have thrown yourself into the dating world more than
once, looking for that Mr. or Ms. Right, only to come up empty handed
and disappointed.
And so, "the heck with dating," you say. If Mr. or Ms. Right is going to
find me, he or she will have to find me in my life. And you are right.
Searching for a partner -- be it Internet dating, personals, dating
services, etc. -- rarely facilitates meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. And if it
doesn't give you what you want, why bother, right?
Hold on to your seat, because I am about to tell you why you should run,
not walk, to your nearest mass dating opportunity if you are ever to me
meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
Mass dating for the purpose of this article is any venue offering you the
opportunity to meet more than one person at a time, such as Internet
dating sites, dating events, singles ads, etc.
"Mass dating has sharpened my intuition," said Janet, a client of mine who
values mass dating opportunities. "I can learn quickly whether or not
someone is good for me, which means I don't have to date the wrong
people for extended periods of time and then deal with a break up!"
Mass dating should not be pursued with the goal of finding your Mr. or Ms.
Right. But it does offer some other extremely valuable benefits.
1. See who you attract.
One of the main reasons to do a lot of dating is to see who you attract.
This is a great test of how close you are to meeting Mr. or Ms. Right.
The people who will pick you out on a dating website, from an ad or in a
crowded room full of singles, will remarkably resemble the types of
people you will attract in a real life situation.
If you find you are attracting people who remind you of your past
relationships or who are not a good match, take it as an opportunity to
do some soul searching. Look into what in you is attracting incompatible
mates.
2. See who you are attracted to.
Mass dating is a great way to figure out who you are attracted to. Just
because you're initially attracted to someone does not necessarily mean
he or she is someone with whom you can build a good relationship. Mass
dating allows
you to discover patterns in your attraction, to see real live examples of
your tendencies in relationships.
Are you drawn to people who are unavailable, or are you drawn to people
who deeply want a relationship? If it is the former, delve deeply into
what attracts you to people who are not available. In this exploration,
you will find the key to attracting the kind of mate you crave.
3. Learn about yourself.
Mass dating is a great arena to learn about yourself. There is no greater
power than knowledge. Armed with knowledge, you can choose to change
behavior that does not serve you.
Learn how you behave when you first meet someone. Learn how you behave on
a date. Learn how much or how little you reveal about yourself. Learn
whether you are more interested in yourself or the other person. Learn
what happens when you are attracted to someone. Then, transform what you
don't like and what does not serve you.
4. Get comfortable.
Not everyone is comfortable with dating. In fact, most people are
uncomfortable, especially when they feel attracted to the person they
are with. Mass dating is a great way to learn to get comfortable, which
is a pretty important thing.
If you can be comfortable on a date, you can be keenly in touch with your
feelings and can detect who you are on a date with. When calm, you can
distinguish a person who wants a relationship from a person who will get
close quickly but will burn out quickly.
5. Practice setting boundaries.
Are you comfortable with gently setting boundaries? Are you comfortable
saying yes or no to something, and feeling the conversation and the
relationship can continue unharmed? Dating many people, many times, can
train you to set boundaries in a firm yet gentle way.
Why are boundaries important? Boundaries show self-respect. Boundaries
give you the safety to venture into a relationship and know you will
take care of you no matter what. Date a lot, and practice setting
boundaries without hurting or shocking people.
6. Disprove your beliefs.
Here is a great way to use mass dating. Disprove whatever you believe
about the opposite sex. Decide to attract, meet, and date people who are
opposite or different from what you believe most of the opposite sex to
be.
For example, if you believe most men cannot communicate deeply, decide to
meet many men who yearn for deep, soulful conversations. Or if you
believe most women have become hard and cutting, decide to meet many
women who are gentle and loving.
If you do not meet people who disprove your beliefs, you are probably
attached to the world being exactly how you think it is. Perhaps it is
time to consider some radical actions to break up your belief systems.
7. Get a sense of abundance of possibilities.
Many singles, busy in their professional lives and with their friends and
families, feel a deep sense of scarcity regarding meeting a compatible
mate. Mass dating is great for this sort of thing.
When you get out there with the purpose of dating on a wide scale, you
start to see many other singles, available and interested in a
relationship. Over time, if you continue to date, you will feel a sense
of abundance. By seeing abundance, you can start to trust again that you
will meet your Mr. or Ms. Right.
8. Feel desirable.
It's not hard to feel wanted and desirable when you are not spending much
time with the opposite sex. And feeling unwanted and undesirable dims
your light, makes you less attractive, lowers your self-esteem, and
perhaps even makes
you want to hide. Not a great thing if you are ever to attract Mr. or Ms.
Right.
If you get out there enough, you will attract many, many people who will
be interested in dating you. It's a great tonic for your self esteem.
9. Expand your community.
If you are to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it is a good idea to widen your
community. And if you are growing and changing, upgrading your community
to match the new you is a great idea as well.
Mass dating could be just the thing for expanding your community. Approach
dating as a way to meet new people and form relationships, instead of a
way to form the relationship. Many great friendships, business leads,
and dating a friend of a friend have come out of mass dating.
10. Have fun!
Dating is an adult playground. When you date, you go to nice places,
listen to music, dance, go to plays, dinner, movies, etc. you engage in
activities that most of us do not make much time for in our busy lives.
If you are feeling a lack of fun in your life, go out and start dating and
playing. It will make your life satisfaction quotient go up, and in
turn, will make you very attractive to your Mr. or Ms. Right.
This article courtesy of
"Rinatta
Paries, 1998-2002. Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the
skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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